i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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