Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize