Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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