is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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