C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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