make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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