I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
