There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
