It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sober January is a disaster.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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