Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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