Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
