They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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