sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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