i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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