is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
