then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
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that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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