It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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