that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
