Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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