It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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