Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
