i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
