Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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