I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
