OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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