Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize