yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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