I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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