the condom got lost in my hair
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
