That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
