So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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