drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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