so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i out mim tonsoeep
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