Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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