I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
