around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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