How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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