his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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