I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
