Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
