Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
