i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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