How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
