Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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