I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
