do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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