now i know why i became what i already was.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
