The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
