so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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