I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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