i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
