I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
