When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you win again, gameday.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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