Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
