Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
