we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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