I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My friends, they love my intelligence
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
