if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
