Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
