I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will pee on everything he values.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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