Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm too high and old for this...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
